Question by holybasse: What is wrong with my girlfriend?
So Friday my girlfriend was sick and I called her both times I was available that night. I was at a football function and was unable to be on the phone the whole time. I told her I wished she was here and how lonely it was.

The next morning I call her and tell her that I’ll come by her place of work when it closes and I’ll pick her up so we can come hang out. I arrive and she asks me “So why are you here? Did you just come here to watch us vaccum?” so I respond with a sarcastic “haha yeah that’s why I’m here”. I thought that was weird so I say “Yeah, I’m just gonna go home now” and she says “Ok, see you later” like I was serious. I was mad that she didn’t realize we were going to hang out and I waited there for at least an hour for her. She calls me and wants to hang out and I tell her I was already there to pick her up but she assumed I was there for other reasons.

Today, she tells me I was being an asshole on Friday and Saturday….when I wasn’t. What’s wrong with her?
Mary Liz, I called her later that night and she told me she didn’t think about why I was there. That means what she was saying was not sarcasm or out of humor.

Best answer:

Answer by hannah c
can you say period. lol

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Question by Bundy: Is this joke funny?
A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vaccum cleaner.

“Good morning,” said the young man. “If I could take a couple
of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vaccum cleaners.”

“Go away,” said the old lady. “I haven’t got any money, I’m broke!” As she proceeded to close the door, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed wide open.

“Don’t be too hasty,” he said. “Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.” And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure on to her hallway carpet.

“If this vaccum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.

The old lady stepped back and said, “Well I hope you’ve got a damned good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning.”

Star this question if you think it’s funny.

Best answer:

Answer by Neil Rawson
Yeah, that’s good! Made me chuckle.

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Question by =^.^= freedom virtuoso =^.^=: BEST ANSWER!!! PLEASE HELP!! How can I help someone sad and stressed out!?!?
Okay so my uncle was an alchoholic and he went into the hospital about a month ago. In (roughly) 3 weeks he died. During those 3 wks my mom had to go to the hospital almost every day and i had to do all the animal work (with the occaisional help of my dad). Every morning I had to wake up at 5:50 and it was dragging me down. I felt like i was going insane. On top of that my mom was stressed out about everything else and complaining all the time. I couldn’t take it but I held my tongue and didn’t say what i wanted to which was: “I’m just as stressed out as you!! Please just stop the complaining!! I know it’s hard for you but it’s hard for me too!!”. Well, he then died and the complaining didn’t stop it was always “I have so much to do”. I did too! I thought I was going to burst but it got better and life turned back to normal. (she took all the morning feedings except for the days she worked and I did the mucking of the stalls and the night feedings). Well Christmas rolled around and her friend she used to work with died. She gets stressed again because my grandma is coming to stay. Christmas is supposed to be happy, not about how hard it is to get everyone’s gifts!! That’s all it was “I have to vaccum” “I haven’t gotten anyone’s gifts” “OH NO!!! I forgot the cream of whatever at the grocery store!” “UGH! I have to make Christmas cookies!”. Again, the insanity!! Well, I felt guilty and not in the Christmas spirit at all. I felt guilty for putting things that were rather expensive on the Christmas list she made us write. With the economy, she would be worrying about money along with everything else. It was simply awful. How can I counter that? How can I help her (other than just doing the stuff she needs to do, even then she’s still stressed)? How can I not feel sad? Please help me!!

Best answer:

Answer by ILoveOreo
That’s really sad. What you should do is you should try to get some quality alone time with her and talk about it. Physical activity also helps. If you are busy doing something with your hands or body you for get things easier. Your mother should get time off work and go to a place that’s fun. that’s the best i can do and good luck. Merry christmas

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Question by ??Holly??: is this just funny to me?? lol?
A little old lady answered a knock on the door one
day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a
vacuum cleaner.

“Good morning,” said the young man. “If I could
take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate
the very latest in high-powered vaccum cleaners.”

“Go away!” said the old lady. “I haven’t got any
money!” “I’m broke!” and she proceeded to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in
the door and pushed the door wide open. “Don ‘t be too hasty!” he said.
“Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.”

And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.

“If this vaccum cleaner does not remove all traces
of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the
remainder.

The old lady stepped back and said, “Well I hope
you’ve got a damned good appetite, because they cut off my electricity
this morning!

Best answer:

Answer by re_nec_
Now that is funny, thanks for the laugh!

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Question by johnny_ritter: Broke…..?
A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vaccum cleaner.

“Good morning,” said the young man. “If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vaccum cleaners.”

“Go away!” said the little old lady. “I haven’t got any money!”, “I’m broke!” and she proceeded to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed wide open. “Don’t be too hasty!” he said, “Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.” And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure on to her hallway carpet. “If this vaccum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.”

The little old lady stepped back & said, “Well… I hope you’ve got a damned good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning. What part of broke don’t you understand?”

Best answer:

Answer by Equinox
omg so funny thank you

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Question by Taylor T.: This is a funny one tell me what you think of it.?
A little old lady answered a knock on the door
one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vaccum
cleaner. “Good morning,” said the young man. “If I could take a couple of
minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in
high-powered vaccum cleaners.” “Go away,” said the old lady. “I haven’t got any
money, I’m broke!” As she proceeded to close the door, the young man wedged his
foot in the door and pushed wide open.”Don’t be too hasty,” he said. “Not until
you have at least seen my demonstration.” And with that, he emptied a bucket of
horse manure onto her hallway carpet. “If this vaccum cleaner does not remove
all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat
the remainder. The old lady stepped back and said, “Well I hope you’ve got
a damned good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning. What
part of broke do you not understand?”

Best answer:

Answer by erocke4life
HAHAHHA!!! that was good!!! =]

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Question by gabriel p: funny old people joke?
A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vaccum cleaner “Good morning,” said the young man. “If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in
high-powered vaccum cleaners” Go away!” said the old lady. “I
haven’t got any money!”, “I’m broke!” and she proceeded to close
the door Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the
door and pushed wide open. “Don’t be too hasty!” he said. “Not
until you have at least seen my demonstration.” And with that, he
emptied a bucket of horse manure on to her hallway carpet “If this vaccum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.
The old lady stepped back and said, “Well I hope you’ve got a dang
good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning.”
What part of broke do you not understand?

Best answer:

Answer by ?im bringing sexy back!!!?
love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
**********************************************************************
thats how many stars i give it!!!

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Question by Prestidigitonium: Heart Procedure? EMERGENCY!?
My grandma had to be fit in the hospital today and theyre doing a procedure where they go in and like “vacuum” out her heart like the clots and stuff? and then they shock her heart but we don’t know how dangerous this procedure is and what it’s called? HELP!!

How dangerous is it?
What’s it called?

We can’t get a hold of my grandpa to ask him and none of my mom’s siblings know

Best answer:

Answer by Tigger
From what I found online, it is common practice, very safe and will improve chances of surviving a major heart attack. See the link for more info…

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Question by Anne s: Why am i wearing TEA TOWELS everyday?
Last week when I was staying at a hotel during our year 9 city camp, on day 2 out of 3. I overslept the checkout time. I was accidentally wrapped up with the bed sheets during the daily clean of the room and change of the linen. I woke up instantly after I was wrapped in a ball by the cleaner. As I was carried out of the room and into the hall I could see through the sheets that all my classmates were grouped near the lift ready to go to the day’s activities, at the time I hadn’t said anything because I was in shock. All of a sudden I was stuffed into the laundry bag hanging on the side of the laundry cart outside the room and the lid was slammed shut. I was there for a minute when all of a sudden the cart started to be pushed along to the next room, every 5 or so minutes the lid would lift and more sheets would be pushed on top of me. Then after the fourth room, I heard one cleaner say to the other, “Hey the pink linen skip is full, let’s empty it down the sheet chute and then finish the last two rooms.” All of a sudden the cart stopped and the bag was unhooked and tipped upright, the next thing that happened was I was sliding out of the bag and then I fell down the chute. But then as it was a “second chute in the main hotel chute system, I stopped at the end because there was a gate closed that stopped me and the linen entering the main system and being “processed”, over a period of ten minutes other cleaners emptied sheets down the chute witched pressed me up against the gate even more. When I looked through the gate below I could see clothes, dry-cleanable, towels, used tea towels and sponges being sucked through chutes and into the main chute. Then the cleaners must have pressed a button because the gate slowly started to open and a vaccum suction started pulling me down. I could feel myself being pulled and the sheets were pushing me down. Then the chute tipped from slightly diagonal to fully diagonal and I fell down the main chute, I quickly grabbed onto another gate below to stop myself from falling, but then the gate started to open and about 150 tea towels fell onto me and dragged me down and I was sucked down onto the main conveyor belt and was pulled along. I could see a large machine and thought OH NO! I was apparently pulled into a “quickx clean” system, like a commercial dishwasher, I was sprayed with water under heavy pressure cleaned with detergent and softened, then the conveyor belt kept pulling along and I was pulled into another machine which blew me and all the tea towels with hot air. Then I was dropped onto another conveyor belt than shuntered along every few seconds, ahead of me I could see the pile of sheets and staff was laying them out and they were being pulled into a big rolling pin iron, I tried to get off the conveyor but my foot was caught in the hole pattern, the staff saw me and quickly helped me off the conveyor belt and made sure I was ok. When I got off and sat down I realized I was wearing tea towels. All I could smell was hotel washing detergents.

Since then I’ve never told my mum, whenever I get dressed I always safety pin one of her tea towels around by breasts, then put my bra on and I wear one of her sponge cloths in my briefs, if I don’t I don’t feel right. Since then the boys at school have noticed that my breasts are bigger and the hottest guy in school has asked me out, the other day my mum noticed that I was wearing her pink and white extra soft tea towel because she could see it through my school dress at the breakfast table. I told her it was so the boys would think they were ‘bigger’. And she said ok. The other day when she went outside to get clothes of the line and left the clothes spinning around in the hot dryer, I paused it and climbed in as hot steam escaped, then all of a sudden out of nowhere my mum pushed clothes into the half full dryer and slammed the door and reset it to full condense and full heat, turbo spin and pressed go! Suddenly it started spinning quicker and it was getting hotter and hotter by the minute and I could see my mum ironing and folding clothes with her back turned. After I checked my watch it had been 8 minutes and the clothes were starting to burn me they were so hot and I was wrapped up in a table cloth, then the machine stopped because mum could see something irregular spinning out of control out of the corner of her eye in her tumble dryer. After she gave me a cold shower in the laundry tub, I told her I wanted to see what it was like in the dryer with clothes. All she did was frown and she walked out.

Why am I wearing tea towels each day? What can I do to stop it???

Best answer:

Answer by Peter
Identifying a Pathological Liar
Pathological liars, or “mythomaniacs,” may be suffering from histrionic personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder. The following comments basically reflect a pathological liar who has the characteristics of histrionic personality disorder.
Some characteristics:
1. Exaggerates things that are ridiculous.
2. One-upping. Whatever you do, this person can do it better. You will never top them in their own mind, because they have a concerted need to be better than everyone else. This also applies to being right. If you try to confront an individual like this, no matter how lovingly and well-intentioned you might be – this will probably not be effective. It’s threatening their fantasy of themselves, so they would rather argue with you and bring out the sharp knives than admit that there’s anything wrong with them.
3. They “construct” a reality around themselves. They don’t value the truth, especially if they don’t see it as hurting anyone. If you call them on a lie and they are backed into a corner, they will act very defensively and say ugly things (most likely but depends on personality), but they may eventually start to act like, “Well, what’s the difference? You’re making a big deal out of nothing!” (again, to refocus the conversation to your wrongdoing instead of theirs).

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Question by : What could cause these automobile issues?
I have a 1987 Oldsmobile Delta 88 Royale Brougham with less than 90,000 miles on it. For the past while, I’ve had issues with my car shifting late from first into second, and on occasion into third from second, along with engine failures at stops and while in motion. The late shifting typically happens when I come to my first stop after the car starts up, and the issue slowly fades away as my drive progresses. Though the engine failure usually happens when I’m in Overdrive or when I’ve driven my car for a while, shut it down, and started driving it again in the same day. I’ve noticed that the late shifting issue doesn’t occur when using Overdrive, though I typically use Drive unless I’m traversing long distances at high speeds.

Background information:
1) When I use Drive, my only issues are shifting late and the occasional loss of power from the engine (though I shift into neutral, turn the key, and it starts up just fine, even in motion). When I’m in Overdrive (mostly on the highway), however, I have less late shifting to worry about and more engine failure in the form of loss of power (I perform the same “life-saving” maneuver to start my car back up so I can brake). I’ve associated this issue with the transmission and my late shifting problem. It was suggested to me that my “vacuum tube” or something like that was not functioning properly, which could cause the late shifting. Also, I believe it would be in my best interest to get a transmission flush (when I have the money), though I don’t know if that could help/solve the issues.

1a) A note about the engine failure: It’s a “clean” shut-down. Usually when I step on the throttle after coming to a stop, the engine just shuts off. Strangely enough, I just put it in neutral and it starts up just fine with no further issues. Obviously the battery isn’t the cause since it starts just fine, though I’ve noticed my engine wine-down (or lose RPMs) for a quick moment and my voltmeter drop low, then just raise back up spontaneously.

2) I have an oil leak from the oil cap (a very slow leak, but my low pressure alarm will sound on occasion). Usually I’ll top-off my oil to keep some in there so I can save up to get a new pan, since mine is apparently a 3rd party oil pan. I don’t know if this issue could cause engine failure.

3) I have an old computer system in this car; I’m not sure what it does other than help shift between gears in Overdrive. It was suggested to me that I should find an Oldsmobile dealership (lol) and get it reset/analyzed. Unfortunately, very few places have hook-ups to support an old computer like mine, so it could remain a mystery forever if that is the issue.

4) My power steering is looser than in any other car I’ve driven (being two), though it would seem apparent that it’s just the style of luxury Oldsmobile models. Along with that, my engine vibrates a little more than other cars, which isn’t a style, based on common sense. Someone suggested that I get a tune up to solve this as well.

As you can see, I have quite a few issues, all of which could be related to one another, or rather possibly not. I’ve done plenty of research, and I’ve yielded no answer quite in the range of the questions I have. I know that the car is old, though it’s in great condition since the original owner, and the only other one besides me, kept it in a garage for about ten years before it was sold to me. I’ve had some rubber nodes replaced on and throughout it once before and replaced some old hoses, but that is the extent of my repair history.

Basically, I just want to know what’s wrong with my car, what kind of no-brainer repairs/steps to take to stop these issues, and what I should ask a professional to do/check my car for when I finally take it in it get it officially fixed. Thank you for your time and please ask me any questions about my problems if I’m not specific enough!

Best answer:

Answer by Dennis
A poor running engine can create trans. problems.

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